Semper Fi Ch.9 (Captain America: TWS)

 The next morning, I awoke early as usual. I am heavily praised by Coulson. Bucky and Clay were both in the Lab with Tony and Bruce. Bucky was in a cell, being shown vids of his life before becoming the Winter Soldier, Clay was being cared for after his capture and procedure. He grew only a bit taller and showed no signs of big changes like my procedure. He had not been exposed to as potent a formula as I had been. He was changed, but not by a lot.
 Steve was working out in the gym when I entered the room. We spoke briefly and I briefed him on my time with the Torture and Brainwashing Task group, and informed him that I would like to try something with Bucky. We were given the green light by Fury.

 Bucky was handcuffed to a table. He had a good sized bump on his forehead from when he had been hit with Steve's shield. I wore a black tank top, combat fatigues, boots and my dog tags. On my head was Steve's army beret. He stared at me, as if analyzing the best way to take me down.
 "Hello James." I say. He remains silent. "James Buchanan Barnes, I am speaking to you." He remains silent and I pull a tape recorder out of my pocket. "Bucky then. I'm going to play some recordings of your closest friend saying some things that should sound familiar to you. If you remember anything, I want you to tell me." I say as gently as I can. The Winter Soldier remains silent, his jaw is set and his eyes remain stoic. I hit play. The recorder holds Steve's voice, and he says some choice lines that hopefully would help jog Bucky's memory.  It had simply, I believed, been repressed.
 "I'm with you. 'Till the end of the line."
 The Winter Soldier presses his lips together. He looks at the recorder scornfully.
 "I..." He begins, "what do I call you?"
 "My official title is Sergeant Major Diana Calhoun. Second in command of the Seventeenth Marine Corps Platoon." I say monotonously. "But I would invite you to call me Diana."
 "Diana then," he says slowly, unsure of himself. "The blonde man. You know him."
 "He is my Teammate and your best friend." I reply. "James, you have been asleep and awake at the same time for seventy years. You were reported killed in action during a mission to take down HYDRA, lead by the Red Skull. Doctor Arnim Zola was responsible for..." I gesture to his metal arm. Bucky nods slowly, processing what I have told him.
 "My memories are... coming back slowly." He looks up at me, unhidden fear in his blue eyes. "I'm lost."
 "From what SHIELD intelligence tells me, you were put in cryo sleep and were awakened through the years to perform assassinations." I show him the documents on him, spreading them out on the tables' length so he can see them all. "There are more." I however leave them in their pile on the floor for later use. I hit play on the recorder and Steve's voice comes on again.

"You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?"

 Bucky shuts his eyes, his brow furrowed. He is trying to remember.
 "Do you remember what you said after this?" I ask.
 "Can you... can you play it again?" Bucky inquires. I nod, rewinding the tape and playing it again. Bucky looks frustrated, like when you feel as if you know what you want to say, it's on the tip of your tongue but you can't figure out exactly what that something is.
 "You replied with... 'Hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m following him'."
 "Diana?" Asks Bucky.
 "Sir?"
 "Why are you helping me?" He wonders. I meet his blue gaze with my own green stare and answer honestly.
 "Because it's important to Steve." I say. The Winter Soldier shifts his arms and I order him uncuffed. Bucky was stronger and taller than I am, but I have a shock charge in my glove and I had the know how in hand to hand combat to take care of myself.
 "He must mean something to you." Bucky says.
 "He meant something to you, too. I'd be loathe if I let a friendship like that die with the memories. I've lost a lot of good men very recently. I won't let Captain America's best friend be one of them."
 "Do you love him, Diana Calhoun?" He asked. I shake my head.
  "Would you beleive it if I told you that you weren't the first one to ask me that?" I inquire. "I do not love Steve Rogers. We are a team. And an effective one. But I do not love him. That would be selfish."
 "Why?" Asks James.
 "If I loved him and saw him die, it would jeopardize the mission." I say coldly, "there is no reward in loving a comrade in our line of work. You can see them as brothers, as partners. But I would never see them as a lover. If I did,  I don't think I could continue." I am open with James in a way I have never been open with anyone. He is easy to talk to despite the circumstances.

 For months, Bucky and I had these talk sessions. I would play Steve's voice from a recording, Bucky would try to remember, and the memories either triggered super positive or super negative effects. Once he reverted back to his killer mode and came at me. I had to electrocute him. Other times, he would look as if he were about to cry or would burst out laughing.
 "So Bucky," I say, "I think you're ready to talk to Steve himself. Face to face."
 "What if I-,"
 "No what if. Buck, it's been weeks since your last negative reaction. You're almost back. Now, if you can face your biggest trigger, you'll be fine."
 "Will you be here?" Bucky asks quietly. I nod. Bucky and I had built up some trust. A lot of trust. Finally, he agreed to meet Steve, but I would have to be there, stun glove on, and he asked to be cuffed to the table.

 Steve entered the cell. I stood back, analyzing Bucky carefully.
 "Hey, Buck." Steve said. He was smiling.
 "What happened to you?" Bucky asked.
 "I joined the Army." Steve joked. I relaxed and watched the men. "Are you okay, Buck? What did they do to you?"
 "I don't really know." Says Bucky. "Lots of needles... and... the operation to put on this metal arm... God the people I killed..." I put a hand on his shoulder and gently pat it. He shakes his mane of hair and looks up at Steve sadly. "They made me turn against my best friend."
 "I don't blame you Bucky. You were given a mission and you would be damned not to finish it. You were always stubborn."
 "You're stupid." Bucky teased.
 "How can I be? You had all the stupid with you." Steve is grinning, his happiness even leaking into his blue eyes. Steve and I had been continuing to go on missions. We had each other's backs and could almost predict the movements of the other before they even happened. He knew the right moment to raise his shield so I could send a foe tumbling in to it and when to duck so I could shoot over him. We never spoke about dating again. Bucky smiles happily, glad to have his friend back, glad I think, not to have a breakdown. Just as we are about to wrap up the session, the door bursts open and several HYDRA agents run in. Steve and I are both completely unarmed because we couldn't risk Bucky getting his hands on a weapon if he snapped. I used my stun glove to take out the first few. Bucky had his eyes screwed shut and his fists clenched. Steve had my chair and was using it as a sort of bludgeon. Even with little weaponry, Steve and I were a combat team. He was behind me, so I ducked, allowing him to connect the chair in his hands with the skull of a HYDRA agent. I stunned another few before my stun gun fizzled out. I turned to hand to hand, snapping necks and breaking noses, as well as the classic knee-to-the-groin. Steve glanced back at Bucky.
 "Where the hell is Rumlow?" I ask to no one in particular. STRIKE should have been here to help defend the session room. "Steve!" I yelled as a knife came up. I attempted to knock the blade aside but the agent's movement had been made a split second before mine, and instead of sinking in to his sternum, the blade diverted to his lung. The agent sunk the knife in up to the hilt and twisted it. I pushed Steve back, grabbed a gun off of a fallen HYDRA agent, and took aim at Bucky.